There's something they didn't let him know.


New Today: Meanwhile, In New York!


Lesbian Zombies Are Taking Over the World


A serialized story updated 1-2 times per week.


Two weeks ago, Rachel was a waitress in a coffee shop in New York City. She doesn't remember anything in her waking life before that. Now, with some help from her Octopus, Rachel is on a mission to find out what the heck is going on-- and all the Revenants and cops and ministers and Valkyries in this world and the next won't stop her.


The story is told in parts (click the title to go to the chapter)

Rachel wakes up one day to realize that she doesn't know anything about her life. On the advice of her octopus, she walks south and meets Brigitte. And the revenants.

Part Two: In Hell:
Running from the Revenants, Rachel wakes up in Hell and seeks help from a Valkyrie.

Part Three: Heading East:
With Mr. Damned Soul tagging along, Rachel and Brigitte go where Doc tells them to go.


Shot down by ray guns, Rachel is taken to be interrogated.

Part Five: Threatening This Existence.

Reverend Tommy can't help himself when he tries to stop Rachel from leaving, and she takes them all back to Hell.

Part Six: Get the Heck Out of Chicago!


Part Seven: Now They're All In Hell. Shot by Samson, Rachel and the others find themselves out of the frying pan... but into the boiling cauldron of souls?

Part 8: Where It All Began. Back from Hell. Dropped into the southwest... with even more people trying to get Rachel.

Part 9: Meeting God. Rachel, Brigitte, and Samson hole up in HQ and wait to see what God wants to do.

Extraordinary:







Thinking The Lions is the only website where you can find out why Velociraptors are fake, learn how to play "Cloverfield," and otherwise follow the hilarious adventures of a guy with a lot of kids, a lot of love of 70s music, a lot of time to watch Battlestar Galactica, and a very patient wife. Life, only funnier.

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